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Note to self, beat self over head with a stick until self gets off lazy ass and makes self a better layout. Get rid of Shinya [fer godssakes] and make the links work, at the absolute bloody minimum. Honestly, at this point I think I would like to have a different screen name, because it just suddenly occured to me that by parroting shinya's name, I was listing towards the well-trodden and dangerously shallow path of a [gag, shudder] fangirl.

Do I like Shinya? Hell yeah I do. He's a great drummer, I appreciate his piano playing, and although he has one of those little rat-dog things, he's a pretty cool guy. But why limit myself? Am I? Why does my cat think that falling on the floor and wedging both front legs under the door so that he flails around and yowls is going to make any progress in getting said door open?

Although I did just open the door for him, so I guess it all works out.

Well, I will be nice to my cat, and in fact, to all mankind! I am embarking on a quasi-lent [quasi, as in I don't believe in such things, and I believe I'm late anyways...lent started...uh...a while ago] sort of commitment to take life as it comes, and generally, to not be such an ass about everything. We shall see how long it takes before I flip out on Schawnne again.

I think the more important things are that I NOT flip out when I can't make a layout for shit, that I NOT have a spaz-fit over other things that go wrong in live. The harder part is not being angry at humanity for being stupid drivers or being completely blithering idiots at that Great Hall of Learning, but I suppose it will at least drive me so far insane that by the time I come down the "anger" part of my brain will have been removed and replaced with a Nerf ball.
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well, as always, progession in technology happens as such:

I'm sitting there, wishing that stuff would just hurry the hell up on my computer so I could get offline and go to bed already. Poor little 56k modem is chugging along at a whopping 2k/sec, and I REALLY REALLY WANT my download to be done because IT'S PRETTY BLOODY LATE AT NIGHT.

So my coaxing progresses from "oh, ok mr. modem, I'll shut down all applications except the browsers, so that nothing can interrupt your quality", to "HURRY THE FUCK UP YOU MALEVOLENT HELL SPAWN!!" [grabs computer, shakes it, beats it, screams, more physical violence, and then the phone line pops out because the tiny plastic bit is broken, grinding everything to a screeching halt]

I was torn between popping my bloodshot eyes out, or just letting my jaw hang in the air in disbelief. Eventually my brain took control, pointing out in an annoyingly calm fashion that there really wasn't any progress being made, and I should have just gone to sleep a long time ago and ridden off on the cloud of happiness that I had found for myself earlier in the evening.

Ah yes. My cloud of happiness. It gave Adi a moodswing email, but oh well...I was just feeling to damn happy to care...

God. I'm so happy, even with the mysterious paint smudges all over my hands. Why is it that even when I spent a massive ammount of time scrubbing my brushes and hands, there is ALWAYS little paint spronks all over that only make themselves known, i.e. when I fall asleep on my hands in Anat/Phys. and wind up with funny orange and purple marks on my face?

My painting is kicking my ass, but it's coming along. I had to skip lunch three days in a row this week, and probably at least 2 or 3 next week. I should have brought it home, but I have no paints here that I would trust on it. Stick to one thing, it'll make it so much easier than transferring back and forth. The only thing I'm not really pleased with is my palate [oh, spelling, you suck] since I was imitating Dali's stuff, I've got this massively blue sky with wonky edges, and then a weird yellowish ground that turns into a brown cliff...it's getting a little sickening looking, but at this point I kind of have to just flow with it. I'm leaving some white by my columns because the contrast just looks so nice. Who cares. Argh. I feel like such a stupid gnome

here is your quote for the day: Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to seize your berry, not to praise it.

Shit. Just realized I misquoted on the nihilism forum. dammit dammit dammit.
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Alright, are you ready for this? Here is my great accomplishment of the day: I was trying to dance like Kyo in the Obscure PV, and wound up throwing myself face first into the floor. I also kept hearing strange popping noises from my ball and socket joint, which may be some indication that one's legs were not meant to be kicked about in such a random way. Who knew? My somewhat lesser great accomplishment was kicking a wall in the hallway. This was before I realized I had to dance in a nice big open space, no matter how many people [i.e. my family] would see. Privacy and pride are such small prices to pay for quality flailing.

I feel like such a fucking moron. And I didn't even get to the part where I expel massive ammounts of questionable ooze from my mouth [shakes fist at the injustice of it all].

Also, the SMAP addiction has lessened slightly due to the recent downloadation of Glay's Good Morning NYC. Although with all due respect, SMAP is just a tiny bit less creepy than Morning Musume. Prepubescent girl-children scare the living bejeezus outta me.

Shit, I love that word. BEJEEZUS!!

I can't say I'm a real Glay fan either, but this particular song has a high amusement factor, which is important to me. I swear to god, sometimes I sound to myself like some incredibly vapid person...
"What did you think about the very important speech you just heard about the future of our country?"
"Well....it was sorta boring, so I didn't really listen, but his mustache wobbled when he talked, so I was entertained."
Aieeeeeee. Maybe one day I will stop amusing myself and be serious...Give someone a serious answer instead of making a joke [albeit a lame joke that makes sense to nobody but myself, which explains why nobody else laughs]. Hell, maybe I'll even stop ranting about communists. Especially since I don't give a hang one way or another about communism, and only babble because I find the look on people's faces amusing when I stand up and tell them to "shut up, you communist".

Oh man. This started out as such a good day. And now I have to go slam my hand in a freezer. After I attempt to rectify the situation with that wild turkey picture from the forum.
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Downloaded my first SMAP song ever. LJLauren was right, they can’t sing for crap. That doesn’t, however, detract in the slightest from the goofiness and singalongability of SMAP. All in all, they are very smappy. I am finding myself addicted. This is bad.

Other places in the life of a bored person, I became very very bored this weekend because of not having a life or anything. So I made myself a new project, a journal of a person who is everything I am not. A giggly airheaded 14 year old anime fangirl who occasionally TaLkS LiKe ThIs CuZ It'S CoOl and says "Tee-hee!" a lot. The name of the game is to see how well I can pass myself off as this satanic creature from the depths of anime hell, and also to see how long I go before I lose my sanity, or abandon the project. Hopefully the latter will come first, I wouldn't want to lose my sanity to something as lame as myself.

I amaze myself sometimes. Really. a] need to find person to date, or just canoodle [justin word] around with. b] or just accept the fact of singleness and set out to rule the world with my kitty at my side, a la Dr. Evil.

Or maybe I could start a boy band [laughs] like SMAP...it would be a SMAP tribute band called SPAM. God, these bottlecaps are making me ill. And the stupid banjo background is massively addicting.

SMAAAAAAAP-U!
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Or not, because a year ago is not something that shall be happening again THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I have ressurected my poor lapputoppu from the dead, though this time I had to trash everything instead of just the system, so that meant a good 45 minutes of reloading stuff from the external HD...the Jrock file alone took 20 minutes...I've got something around 4000 files, only about 100 of which are not jrock pictures >< there is something deeply disturbing about that. And just in Dir en Grey, I've got 2174 pictures, not counting the ones that were stuck in the "new to be sorted" and "wallpaper" files.

Aieeeee. I'm a freak.

my only consolation in freak-dom is not having downloaded a picture for about a month. Like a frickin AA prog.